wanted ...

What to do ...

I like B a lot but he seems to just not be that into me?

one of my biggest problems in relationships is that I tend to over analyze everything
I need to feel special and wanted I need to know they are thinking about me the way I am thinking about them.

I want my sms to be replied to within 5 min, I want to have someone make the effort to come see me and be with me, I want the security of knowing if I ask them to be there for me they will, no questions asked! Is this an impossibility am I living in a dream world? All I want is for someone to make the effort to show me I am special and worthy.

B and I have been smsing normally I initiate the conversation I have to wait for my reply and when I ask if he will join me out he said he was tired and going home...

But the sms are sweet with lots of mwah's and nicknames such as swt and luv are there is he really into me or am I reading into something thats not there?

I have no strength left to go into anymore one sided relationships, I have had enough of those to last me a life time...

Yes I am still playing the game but what should I do? Until I know what B wants from this I feel like I should still be playing, I do like him but I need to be made to feel wanted.

When it rains it pours ...

As per my earlier post I mentioned Christmas eve was a rather fun night, I met this guy lets call him Santa we went back to my place no false presences, we were both after one thing and we got it ! Now we both established that we wanted nothing more than that and we enjoyed each others company, in simple terms "fuck buddy's" no strings when we see each other we have fun!

He mentioned he would like to see me the following Friday I said that would be great and when we parted ways he asked if we should exchange phone numbers so I gave him my number and when he asked if I wanted his I said miss call me or sms then I will have your number ...

No phone call no sms ? is he interested or did I make him think I was not interested by not looking eager to get his number ?

I like this guy he was fun interesting and makes me laugh, however since him (2days later) I have met up with an old friend and we hit it off last night...

nothing serious I don't normally take guys home on the first night (Santa was an exception he was the first since my ex of nearly 5 months ago and I needed it)

But me and my old friend lets call him B kissed and exchanged numbers, with him I would want something more not just "fuck buddy's" he is going to call me today I want to see him and think we could really get to know each other, but do I leave things with Santa? If he was that interested he would have called?

To make matters worse Santa and B know each other but don't know about me being a common link between them!!!

The Joy's of Being single

I love being single ...

I get to pick out which guy in the bar I want to snogg if they piss me off I can simply find another one...

You can wear what you want
you don't have to watch who or what they flirting with because you can flirt with who ever you want too

You can take up all the space on the bed
and even watch the TV programs you want and flick to channels as fast as you want too.

I love being single with no responsibility no commitments, I can do what I want when I want and how I want,

but sometimes its nice to have a shoulder to lean on for support a comforting arm to keep me warm, a cuddle when I am down and a laugh when I am happy,someone to tease and play with, the security at night when you sleep...

So maybe being single is not that fun, but being in a relationship with the wrong person is worse ...

maybe he is out there maybe I will find him, maybe I wont, both sides have pro's and con's !

Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you gonna get!

Dating underage girls for dummies

Underage dating for dummies

If your dating an underage girl...

1) Expect her to be jealous that you have other female friends
2) Expect to have to fetch her and take her home (as she can not legally drive yet)
3) you need to pay (because she obviously does not have a real job yet)
4) You need to win over the parents and respect the curfews home by 12pm or she will be grounded!
5) You need to wear protection face it she does not know about the "pill" yet (let alone all the other female things you need to do if your having sex)
6)If you doing it make sure her parents don't find out!
7) If they do run like hell (especially if daddy has a shotgun)
8) Expect those teenage dramas
a) to mom and dad "I hate you" "I am running away" "I am moving in with my boyfriend" (even though you have no skills and means to earn a living)
(don't worry about school who needs it anyways)
(Yes he loves you... has he actually said the word? (If you have then your just gonna have to eat the shit when she does not understand why you cant live with her)
(when she does not tell her parents where she is to spite them, be prepared to get the blame) (no matter how much you think they like you, she is still there little girl, and your taking her innocents away)
9) they will not understand "your just a friend with benefits" (they might say they do but really they don't they see you as the boyfriend" once you have slept with them they are emotionally attached to you (don't argue! they are they don't have the emotional maturity to not be)
10) when they ask to move in with you because living with mom and dad sucks RUN, RUN LIKE HELL
11) its cheaper to buy them glitter pens as baby's are expensive
12) Not using a condom on your side is just plain stupid
13) you have to convince the bouncers at night clubs she wont be drinking
14) You are probably one of there first real relationships and they cant wait to act like an adult and make it serious!)

Benefits of dating underage girls

1) Easy to get drunk
2)Easy to get into bed
3) They put you on a pedestal and trust your every word
4) You look great to your mates she is young and pretty
5) she wants to do anything you ask
6) she wont ask you to wear protection because nobody has explained properly what will happen if you don't
7) she is unlikely to have any STD'S as how many guys could she have slept with

Now that you have read this are you still keen to date that underage girl ?

Margaritas

Now for those that know me I LOVE to dress up, and Christmas eve gave me the perfect opportunity to bring out the Christmas spirit!

I put on my little red dress and santa's hat and found the perfect father Christmas's lap to sit on, and whispered my wishes into his ear!

Yes the vow of a year got broken but it was all in the name of festive spirits and good cheer, and the blame can be squarely put on the shoulders of my friend margarita's

I think I have had more tequila this week than the entire year!!!

I will post some pic's soon that red dress is now my new favorite dress!!!

December Silly Season

This morning I woke up early I had an appointment at 8am then needed to collect material and goodies for the dress being made for my birthday, drop it off and get to work by 8:30am why do I put myself through this ....?

On the south coast all us locals prepare for December we start in September buying extra groceries and Christmas presents, why so early because as soon as December arrives this place turns into a mad house,

For example I was driving along the free way and had to slam on breaks as the car in front of me stopped I was thinking accident, pedestrian knocked over or road works? but no it was the que trying to take the Shelly Beach off ramp! taking the old road is worse its backed up for miles and parking is non existent and if by chance you find one you need to fight for it with 5 other vaalies in the 4 x 4's

But I supppose we should not complain they bring us moola that we survive off until easter!

Oh Bother what a Day!!

I Used to work for Hotels that was before I branched out on my own in the big wide world, now for some unknown reason yesterday I get a phone call advising me that I am being implicated on Credit Card Fraud Charges!!!

WHAT THE HELL .... Me model citizen (ok maybe not all the time) but I have not worked there for more than a year, and this is the first I hear of it ? come on!!

Lets start from the begging maybe some of you can advise me on what to do?

I resigned my post at the Hotel as I wanted to open my own business and I could find no other way to get out of the abusive relationship I was in.
When I resigned the GM / Front Office Manager and I decided that the Reservation Manager would be taking over my position and we would find a new person to take her position.
I was informed not to assist in training him as this would fall under the current reservations manager and I only needed to train her to take over my position.

I was in charge of balancing all revenue department's and I was good at this and I can swear that everything balanced until my last day at the Hotel.

However I had heard that the girl taking over my position was not balancing correctly however I had given all the assistance I could to help her and it was then time for me to leave.

The new Chap that took over her position that she trained was apparently refunding money off the credit card machine into his own account. (How they balanced I dont know as there are around 5 proceedures to follow should you wish to refund a credit card.

1.) Have a written authorization from the card holder instructing that the money be refunded
2.) Have an invoice number and copy of the invoice for what the money was paid over for.
3.) Have Authorization from the GM to refund the money.(that was a mission in itself you had to have a detailed reason why the money was to be refunded)
4.) you had to have proof that the original payment was received into our account
5.) you had to post the negative amount for the revenue center it was originally posted to so you revenue would balance at the end of the day.

So please tell me how you steal money from the credit card machine where is the proof that the original amount was paid into our account? and how could they balance at the end of the day unless they were posting negative amounts to revenue departments where it would have been picked up on at the end of the month?

I do not know exactly how they are trying to implicate me in this as I only worked with him for a month whilst I was leaving and I never trained him I may have assisted him whilst the reservations manager was off duty but I was specifically instructed not to train him as she did not want conflict of interest between my training and the reservations managers

and regardless why would I train him how to use a credit card machine he came from a reservations company who did manual credit card payments all the time?

And now with everything else on my plate they squish this on too I have to go to court in Feb for this (No wonder I have bad anxiety attacks)

Boys will be Boys

Boys will be Boys

Strangely I have a lot of male friends, I love it because I can relax and be me without offending anyone and they are funny as hell and I end up having such a good laugh with them…

I have also remained friends with most of my ex boyfriends and they all have come to realize that they can rely on me anytime day or night,

On Thursday night I receive a phone call from my ex at 3am,
Me - Ryan what’s wrong? I hope you not calling for phone sex I told you its never going to happen…
Ryan – HAHAHA Common you know you wanna! No Tiff I just need you to keep me awake while I drive home I am tanked and need to drive back to Santon from Pretoria and you’re the only person I know that will answer your phone at 3am
Me – Ryan you naughty boy why you driving drunk? Where have you been…
This conversation lasted about an hour until he was safe and sound in his bed.

Now after my rather bad behavior on Wednesday night I decided to keep this weekend quiet, so went over to my mate sheen for dvd’s and dinner we had such a fantastic evening I got to relax and chill for a while get some female time away from the boys,

My other ex sms me
Gavin – “Hey Tiff what you up to tonight”
I ignore the sms (he is the ex I am trying to put distance between because he messes with my head) at about 8:30 he phones so I ignore it, I am having fun with the girls for a change he can look after himself tonight! I get another call around 11pm so I ignore it again I am not interested!! I finish my relaxing evening and go home at about 2am, House mate arrives back from his night with his new girl and climb’s onto the couch with cartoon (his nightly ritual) and I say good night and go to bed.
Around 4:45am I hear his phone ring now he is asleep and wont answer, then 5 min later my phone ring’s I check to see who is calling? Haydn? now I think is Gavin trying to call me again on Haydn’s phone maybe I should not answer but then I think no not at this time something must be wrong…
Me – Hello
Haydn – Tiff is Clyde home I need him,
Me - Yeah sure what’s wrong I can hear it in your voice?
Haydn – We got into a fight I am in the Hospital
Me – Hold on here is Clyde (still passed out on the couch) we will be right there hun
Clyde –OMG what happened we will be right there…

We rush through to the Hospital in Shepstone!
Hi guys (Jason, Gavin, Vanessa (Jason mom and Haydn boss) and Haydn brother in law) where is Haydn? “Having x rays”
We go through to find his face swollen, black and blue, they have shaved his head to dress the gashes where two bottles were broken over his head, what happened he fakes a smile and says I don’t know… some chick said I grabbed her ass and then her and her boyfriend climbed into me … Me, Gavin what happened? (Haydn cant even talk to girls never mind grab there asses)
Now if you know Gavin it is very unlikely that he was not the cause of the problem ( He being beaten up not more than a month ago for almost the same reason)
Gavin said “Hey this chick she just climed into him with a bottle then her boyfriend climbed in I tried to help but there were to many ….” (You can hear when Gavin is spinning a story his whole mannerisms and voice changes)

We eventually leave Hadyn at the hospital around 7am looking worse for wear and half passed out …

Boys will be boys and need to fight their own battles, I have realized all you can do is be there in the good times and support them the best you can in the bad.

On Saturday night we go to a birthday function and end up having such a relaxed evening
“Well in the beginning I freaked out had a really bad anxiety attack and took half a zannex to calm me down it took some time to work but when it did I had the best time ever!”
We sat at the bar talking kak until 4am (after finishing a bottle of Smirnoff triple distilled between me and house mate) and J and Kate looking very smitten with each other (they do make such a cute couple)
For some reason at about 1.30am my other ex Brad and this Dutchman crash our little shin dig and in the middle of his conversation ( I lean over to Kate and say I spek engalish vewy deliceousely since I was twice and she sniggers and says look I am wearing a jean pant … giggle snigger hahahaha we were not being very quiet so I am sure they hear us lol…

I love all my friends and would not change them for the world!

I Thought this was Inspirational

"If" for Young Women

(A poem I read that I just couldn't keep to myself)

If you can trust yourself though others doubt you
And conquer fears that limit what you dare
So you can then enrich the world about you
With skills and talents that are yours to share;

If you enjoy both quiet introspection
And festive times with friends and family,
If you make time for dreaming and reflection
But still find joy in others' company;

If you can balance dreams with practicality
And deal in facts but never lose ideals,
If you can face the harshness of reality
And find the truths that prejudice conceals;

If you can be courageous when defeated
And humble in the face of victory
Or give your best until a task's completed,
However difficult the task may be;

If you can be sincere when giving credit
And work at building bridges and not walls
Or strive to reach a price until you get it,
Yet never fail to help someone who falls...

If you can temper facts with understanding
And manage well the things in your control
And neither be too lax or too demanding
But keep in mind the worth of every soul;

If you can reach objectives, not begrudging
The patience, time, and effort you impart,
And look at others' actions without judging
And see not with your eyes but with your heart;

If you can take resources that surround you
And use them in the way you feel is good,
You'll be successful... and all those around you
Will be the richer for your womanhood.
-Barbara Burrow

Dreams

Have you ever had a really weird dream that you could remember?

Last night I woke up with the fright of my life, I felt like I had this huge monster lying accross my chest I could not breath I could not move or make a sound ...

I lay still like this for 20 min at least until I sort off woke up and realised it was all a dream, strange I know sometimes I would like to understand dreams a little more are they just dreams or do they mean something ?

My Friend Ryan phoned me last night at around 3am he had been at a party and was very drunk, He proceeded to drive home from pretoria to santon and he thought it was a good idea to phone me to keep him awake while he drove home. I am happy he called me I would have been so upset if he did fall asleep behind the wheel and crash at least this way I knew he got home safely.

The wonderful me

Hi I have started this blog as my old one was useless lol,
Some things about the wonderful me, I can not spell, my punctuation is disgusting and quite frankly sometimes I just dont make sence but thats me and my crazy world.

I have come to realise that not everything matters as long as you have friends and family that you love and care for thats all you need somehow everything else will work its self out ...

Ok lets start ..

Work - I am self employed I own a little Nut, Fruit and Biltong shop next to pick and pay in margate, I have an online travel agencey www.tiffanystravel.co.za and I supply the SPAR KZN group with biscuits and goodies

Family - My Mother and Father have recently split my mom moved in with me and then I moved out it was a good decision my mom is doing better on her own, dad lives at home and can be mean and nasty most times but can also be as sweet as pie...
My sister is back but I am currently not talking with her because she looks like she is on drugs and her new boyfriend is a compleate chop to say the least,
My Granmother is dying we hope she will pull through but she is 89 and has had a very good life (love you granny I hope you will come through tops)
My other family is all over SA and New Zealand, Australia, and the UK

Friends - They might not know this but some of the people I respect the most in my life right now would be Kim, your my rock when I want to do stupid things and I know if I need you, you will be there thank you for this it means so much to me and I will always be there for you! Sheen, You sometimes take a while to respond or are to busy to but I understand and I know you have so much on your plate but you have stuck by me with my stupid decisions and crying and complaining I love you for this and even though you are leaving I will talk with you almost everyday thats a promise, House Mate Clyde, your nothing short of awesome I know I did not listen to you when you told me so but I know now I am so much better off, Your an awesome friend and I can only hope that I fall in love one day with someone that comes close to the person you are, and I am so sorry for my shit lately I will start to behave I promise!
Taz, even though you so far away from me I can not help but think of you from time to time you know anytime you need me I will be ther for you, I love you friend
Ryan, your probably the only friend that calls me between 2 and 4 in the mornings but you know I love you in you own special way, and I will always answer to you I will always be there when you need me.
That is a short list of the friends that are really close to me right now and there are so many more people in my life right now that mean so much to me! Friend's that I would do anything for.

Love life - I am useless in this department but what I can say is
Wouter you played me well,
Ryan you should have given it longer
Brandon I am sorry but the drinking and fights could not carry on
Gavin your an asshole and I can see your lies
Brad I am sorry I just had nothing to give you
Those are the past I can not erase them but only learn from them,
I am single now and happy to be single, I have just got my soul back from a devil but its mine now and I will be careful who I give it to from now on.

People I dont want in my life -
Sharde you only wanted me for your own benifits, and I am a much better person than you make me out to be and I dont need people like you in my life
Gavin I have seen through the lies your not worth the time and people like you will never be a true friend.
Hopefully I will not need to add anymore names to this list as I am a friendly person and it takes a lot for me to remove you from my life.

So thats the short version of me I hope you like me and get to know, me and my crazy world.